Perseverance.

perseverance, is what i've gained a little by little from day to day. i don't know if anyone notices this, but with a strong certain now, i will NOT fail, anymore. yes, i'd failed. yes, it disappoints everyone. yes, it truly disappoints me and still is depressing whenever i think about it. failing is scary, failing is depressing, i never want to fail and fall this bad anymore. i moved on for i know deep down, i want a promising future, to change myself is a big step, for me at least. i used to tell myself i WANT to excel, i WANT to be the person i WANT myself to be but i've never done any sacrifices, does THESE words actually even meant anything at all? no. those words were used as defensive cover lines dipped with a slight expection i WANT to have from myself. but i've never really done ANYTHING in the past, to excel, to be the person i want, to change most importantly.

and now, i can quite confidently say that, i have changed for the better, i have improved and i want to be good.

you were right, sensitive and defensive is who i am. i tried holding on to my emotions, but you have to understand that it's not easy holding it just like how sometimes, you throw tantrums suddenly, can you control that? i'm sorry if i were being rude, but those were just defensive words. i will prove you that i will NOT fail, i will prove to you that THIS time i REALLY know what i'm doing and i'm not saying this to defend myself, i really know, for real, what i'm doing, what my goals are, what i want to achieve. this isn't a white lie anymore.

I WILL SUCCEED.

ps: i don't really care if there's tons of grammatical errors in this, as long as you get what i meant.

till then,
cheerio mates!